You don’t see the pain in my eyes or the hurt in my heart.
I can’t explain or make you understand how it makes me feel when you act the way you do. You don’t see the tears falling down my face. Or feel the brokenness in my heart.
You don’t see my heart wrenching when you don’t answer or you just ignore my requests to be included a little bit more in your life.
You don’t see the intimidation I feel when I need to ask you or tell something or I’ll just walk away to avoid a conflict with you, or I’ll just never ask. I know that you have a good heart, and it’s ok to show that, it’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of greatness.
I love you very much but the way you treat me is something that should not happen. I’m not strong enough to stand up to you, I should be but I’m not and I’m afraid to let anyone do it for me because I know how angry you’ll become, and you’ll shut me out even more.
You keep the one thing from me that has brought me so much joy. I don’t even think you realize it breaks my heart every time you ignore my plea to see and spend time with the two of you.
Is this selfish of me? Or is it my insecurities that make me feel like I’m not worthy to be part of your life. I try and keep the peace, I try and not make you mad or upset your routine.
I’m just want to be close to my family. Maybe one day you’ll see the pain in my eyes or perhaps you’ll feel the same hurt I feel in my heart. I hope not but time will tell the story for you one day
We are given tasks in life to grow and become decent human beings, I didn’t fail this task, but I may have dropped the ball more than a few times. All I know is I love my family, not matter how much pain or hurt there is that comes along with that.
How will your story unfold?